I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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