i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
