He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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