i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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