Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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