I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
