I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
