Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
