I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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