i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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