One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
