Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
