I think im going to throw up on grandma
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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