She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
cat food counts as protein by the way
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
