I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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