p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
