He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
