week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
