If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
