Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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