This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
