I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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