So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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