why didn't you poke me back
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
