1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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