Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
