Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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