I'm drive I can fine osifer
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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