All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
