I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
