her vagine was all disorganized.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
