This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
where does the pee come out of this thing
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
