Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
