i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
