Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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