Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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