I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize