I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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