What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
