Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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