I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
