is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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