he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
