I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
