you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
