i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
