It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
