Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize