that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
