yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
BRING THE BAGELS
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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