So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
