shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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