In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
