normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
