don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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