Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
