And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
