hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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