you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
