saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
