I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it was like eating out sand paper
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize