Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
