quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i came on her dog
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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