My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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