This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
