If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
