uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
