he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
