never play flip cup with pint glasses
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
