He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
