Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
