i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize