He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
