I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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