listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
