Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize