You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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