So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize