Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
is it fun? or sober?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
