She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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