No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
