You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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