im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
